Early in 2022, Colin’s ever-active and generous cousin Howard invited us to transfer his rather nice Haines 32 Offshore cruiser Allons-Y from Aigues Mortes in southern France to his friend Yves’ home near Rouen. He was, typically, asking us to do him a favour while in reality doing us a favour!
The issue was that Howard needed to get the boat back to the UK before being liable for a massive VAT hit, despite having already paid VAT on the boat in the UK (probably best not to get into Brexit here). The requirement was to get her out of the EU before mid-year, something that he was unable to do himself.
So our mission, should we choose to accept it, was to get down to the boat in Aigues Mortes and cruise it up through the French waterways in time for Howard to bring it back across the Channel, realistically by around the end of May if possible. Simple enough.
Or so we thought.
With a little diary management, a crew comprising Colin, Marie and friend Richard (who has crewed with us before and surprisingly come back for more) could be available to take this task on, albeit more as a challenge and adventure than a holiday. With nearly 750 miles and 200 locks to tackle, and an average crew-age of 75, this was not a voyage to be taken lightly. Especially as it would involve going the ‘wrong’ way up the Rhone in Spring, with its potentially high winds (the Mistral), strong currents and occasional flooding.
Was it strange, or just inconvenient, that all the guide books and online resources we found were written travelling the other way, i.e. to the south, generally in season and in good weather? Not at all strange, as it turned out. The fact that we subsequently voyaged for many hours, sometimes for whole days, without seeing another vessel going our way suggests that only ‘mad dogs and Englishmen go up the River Rhone in Spring’ (with apologies to Noel Coward).
Anyway, we chose to accept the challenge before the cassette tape self-destructed. Carpe diem.